Building Bridges for Siblings: Karen's Story of Change

2025 marks the halfway point to Scotland keeping the promise.

To mark it, The Promise Scotland is highlighting some of the stories from the people who’ve been working to keep it across the country— such as Karen Morrison, Founder and Chair, Siblings Reunited (STAR).

The relationships between brothers and sisters and other sibling-like connections are essential to any young person but especially to those growing up in care. The promise was clear that these relationships can and must be supported and prioritised.

Siblings Reunited (STAR) is a one-of-a-kind service that supports time together for siblings who have been separated during their time in care. On a farmland setting in Fife, there are play areas, gardens, woodland, resident animals, a local beach and much more. It’s a safe, fun, natural environment for shared experiences, where the children can nurture their relationships, foster emotional bonds, and make some headway in overcoming the trauma associated with being separated.

People who work with children are encouraged to keep trying

Ultimately, STAR aims to fill the gap between what siblings need and what caregivers and local authorities can provide.

“In many ways, we made our own promise 15 years ago when we started,” says founder Karen.

But one clear difference we’ve seen since the change in law and legislation is that the people who work with children are encouraged to keep trying when a situation isn’t going so well. Perhaps siblings might not be having a good family time, or maybe emotions get too big. In the past, one or all of them might not come back to us. Social workers, carers, kinship carers or residential staff might have said ‘they’re not managing this’, so things stop. But now, we see extra work in finding a solution.

One family I remember had been through so much. We started with three of them, who were all in separate placements and moving constantly, and in their minds they’d set up coming to us as a fail. Because nothing ever works out. So, it wasn’t positive at the start. But, as time progressed, they were able to leave visits on a better note, then they were able to regulate their feelings easier and quicker. So, we started seeing really big, positive changes.

I’m quite sure there’d have been a time when social workers would have just given up, before. But STAR has always been happy to connect with supervisors, social workers, carers and residential staff to work out what can be done differently. So, if there’s one major thing that’s come out of this, it’s that. I think there’s just more knowledge about what happens if siblings don’t get to spend quality time together; what happens when they leave the system; when they grow up. So, the professionals are more likely to sit down and talk to the children – whether that’s negative or positive at the time.

It’s worth getting to the root of why— there might be something we can change

Things have changed at STAR, too.

It was an uphill struggle to begin with,” says Karen, “so we were keen just to get families here. What would happen now and again: one sibling might not attend for whatever reason; or one is going to be adopted so they have a three-month gap. We’d have said, ‘OK, social work knows best’, or ‘that child doesn’t want to come’. But what’s different, certainly over the last three years, is that we’ll just ask for more information. We might ask why? Could it be because they’re scared, or because of how family time used to look? We can’t make them come, but sometimes it’s worth getting to the root of why. Because there might be something we can change.

While the promise isn’t just about siblings, Karen explains the same is also true for STAR. If they can’t make it work with families, siblings end up separated, so the service goes out of its way to work with everyone involved.

As always though, the biggest barrier to what STAR does is funding. “Yes, first and foremost, it’s the funding,” says Karen.

We had our first ever paid member of staff in 2024 – a manager, who was absolutely amazing. But we couldn’t secure funding for her again this year, and there’s nothing we didn’t try.

STAR will keep being STAR, providing we can get the funding. But the process evaluation shows we’re still the only service of our kind in the world, really. We have a lot of knowledge, experience and history to share, and that’s what we do when we get the chance. But, if work with siblings is truly a priority, there should really be more escalation of the concept to funders.

I also think there’s a lot more that needs to be done in terms of raising awareness of this work with adoptive parents, kinship parents and sibling-like relationships. That’s one area in which things could be improved.

Children give us the strength to push harder

Still, the effect STAR has on the children is always an inspiration for Karen.

I remember one particular nine-year-old girl, who was the saviour of STAR in a way,” she says. “She was one of three children who had all been separated. The two of us were stood outside our polytunnel and she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, ‘Did you hear we’ve moved again?’ They’d moved three times in three months, and had a change of school too. ‘But at least we have STAR,’ she said. ‘STAR never changes.’ At that point we were really struggling for funding, and that wee girl gave me the strength to push harder.

I remember a little boy too, in a sibling group of five. He arrived first and was sat in the kitchen, swinging his wee legs. ‘How are you doing?’ I asked him. ‘Oh, I’m fine,’ he said. But the social worker had already whispered in my ear that this little lad had been up since 5.30am with his backpack at his side, waiting for his visit to STAR at 12pm. I asked what it was like for him to come that morning. He said, ‘You know what it’s like on Christmas morning before you can see if Santa’s been? It’s a bit like that.

2025: The halfway point for the promise

Find out about what's been happening to keep the promise over the last five years.