Neilston Primary School: Building a Nurturing, Stigma-Free Community

Neilston Primary School has introduced Cup of Tea and Stigma Free events— informal gatherings that bring together children, families, and a range of professionals to share ideas, build understanding, and explore ways to get the right help and support when it’s needed.

The school’s nurturing ethos runs through every aspect of its work, ensuring a caring and supportive environment for all children, including those with care experience.

Victoria McCabe, Deputy Head Teacher, explained:

We focus on ensuring that our children’s needs are met through nurturing approaches. We work to help staff understand how early life experiences might feel from a child’s perspective, encouraging them to empathise with the children in their care. This awareness allows us to respond in a way that supports wellbeing and builds trust.

We’ve invested time in learning about the impact of trauma and are committed to being preventative, using an upstream thinking approach to anticipate needs before they escalate.

Through regular conversations with staff, families, and partner professionals, the team recognised a clear need within their school community to strengthen support for care experienced families.

They noticed that some families were finding it challenging to navigate developmental stages, access services quickly, or know where to turn for help. Joint support meetings with educational psychologists and other partners highlighted recurring barriers, and confirmed that more could be done to connect people in a way that felt accessible, informal, and free from stigma.

One of the catalysts for developing the Neilston Promise was a powerful session in which Tony Bryson, a member of their school community and Active Schools Coordinator, shared his lived experience of care. Victoria described how this shaped the team’s thinking:

You could have heard a pin drop. Lived experience helps people connect on a deeper level, sparking empathy and reminding us why being trauma-informed is so important. It encouraged us to be even more intentional about supporting children with care experience.

The Neilston Promise sets out the school’s key commitments to its learners and has been used to guide their approach to building stronger support networks. These commitments are also central to the school’s wider preventative, upstream nurturing interventions— such as nature connection activities, opportunities for children to be part of a core nurture group, and other tailored approaches designed to build resilience, emotional regulation, and a sense of belonging.

Recently, Neilston Primary was reaccredited by Nurture UK as a Nurturing School, with the Neilston Promise and these preventative, upstream approaches forming a key part of the evidence submitted to achieve this recognition.

The first Cup of Tea and Stigma Free event was a small gathering with tea, cake, and open conversation. Families were invited to comment on the Neilston Promise and share what mattered most to them in meeting their children’s needs. The event proved to be a positive and constructive way to listen and learn.

Following this success, the team expanded the idea into a larger networking event under the theme “Care, Community and Connection.” This brought together families, young people, education staff, social workers, care support organisations, and community partners.

Victoria said:

We asked gentle, open questions such as ‘What makes you feel included?’, ‘Can you remember someone from school who made a difference?’, and ‘How do we build connection?’ These questions created common ground and opened up genuine dialogue.

Families were able to connect directly with services in the room, and professionals could build understanding with each other in a respectful, supportive environment.

The events have helped strengthen relationships, improve access to early help, and reduce stigma.

“It’s important that our community sees our values in action,” Victoria added. “We want every child to have what they need to thrive and flourish.”

While the school has faced some challenges in bringing everyone together, they have adapted by using creative and informal ways to invite families in— understanding that not all communication works for everyone. Respect for each family’s readiness to engage remains central.

Looking ahead, the school aims to increase children’s understanding of care experience as part of building a more inclusive culture.

If all our pupils understand what care experience means, then those with care experience won’t feel it’s something they have to hide,” said Victoria. “It’s about creating safe spaces and never forcing the conversation. The earlier children learn, the less stigma there will be.

If you work in a school and would like to connect, you can contact Victoria at schoolmail@neilston.e-renfrew.sch.uk or via BlueSky @neilston-primary.bsky.social.