This is Us— Supporting Birth Families

When a child is taken into care, it has a huge impact on the birth families. In Fife, the This is Us group and the Support Birth Families Service have created a dedicated service for birth families where children have been permanently removed from birth parents’ care, or are likely to be removed permanently from their care. In addition to support from staff, the option of peer support is offered to birth parents.

The work started with the This is Us group, a project offering both 1:1 and peer support for birth mums, facilitated by workers from Fife Council, which meets twice a month to understand more about the process of permeance, loss and feelings related to grieving a child who is living.

The group was initially funded through the Promise Partnership Fund from Corra, beginning around three and a half years ago, before becoming a core part of the business at the council.

Helping people understand complex issues of loss

Rona Wood, social work senior practitioner, from Fife Council who helped set up the group, said:

The group helps people to understand very complex issues of loss and grieving a person who is still alive.

These ladies have all suffered significant trauma in their lives and are still dealing with the effects of loss and grief, while some are affected by addiction, or in abusive relationships and mental health can affect service members.

Rona explained that it was a slow process to grow the group:

We are based within social work which can be tricky.

Social work have removed people's children. So that trust and the relationship building just takes a little bit of time for people to feel safe.

What’s important is the workers on the projects are not involved in any decision-making process for children, we are there for the adults.

To help people who have been referred, the workers will also meet people in places that work for them, varying from a coffee to a walk on the beach— wherever the person feels comfortable.

Building trust

Building trust is also key, with part of this process involving reflection - both from the birth mums, but also from the workers - on situations where they have been involved in removing children before, to think what could have been done differently.

Group sessions can vary, with some led by the ladies, and others by the workers, covering areas like letterbox contact, kinship care or adoption, budgeting, physical health and plugging gaps missed within the participants childhoods, such as visiting museums. They also can help one on one to get the women help and support where they may face barriers: such as seeing a GP, or discussing issues out with a group setting.

Rona said:

Whatever we do, we are always looking at how we all support each other to be the best that we can possibly be. All of those ladies would hope to see their children at some point in the future.

A lot of the work that we do is about being very nurturing, caring, non-judgmental, learning to work alongside each other.

They also run residentials. Rona said:

We did an interesting exercise where we had little cardboard people cut out and we asked participants how they thought about themselves as birth parents. You can imagine it was all negative.

Then we asked the rest of the group what they thought about them, as parents, people, and peers. It was all positive. It was amazing to see, as for some of these ladies all they've known is negativity.

The women come to the service from referrals, which can be from social work, or the third sector, or other partner agencies, such as health. Currently they receive around six to eight referrals a month. If people want to self-refer there is an email address, to help overcome the barrier that some people feel picking up a phone.

Helping to bring about change

As well as the peer support service, the group has also helped to influence policy and help in educating social workers on the impact on birth mums. Rona said:

We have been to team meetings, team development days; a few of our ladies met with service and team managers from across children and families. They're going to be part of Fife's Pride and Practice, speaking to all social workers across children and families, and the justice service.

The ladies have also been really instrumental in our leaving hospital protocol. There are a variety of things they influenced, like thinking about the birth mum at the point a child is removed soon after birth. That birth mum is very vulnerable after having a baby and losing that child. So who's going to take that mum home? Who's going to make sure mum's got gas, electric and food in the cupboard? Who's going to make sure that she knows baby is settled that day when they both leave the hospital?

Part of the journey for some of the mums has been to meet with the social worker involved in the removal of their child, or even the people who adopted them.

Rona said:

Initially, people said ‘not a chance.’ But we’ve planted that little seed with them and they've come back to us and said, ‘I'm ready for that.’ So, we've had a number of ladies go to meet the workers who removed their children. This has been a real positive; the view the birth mums have of how they presented when working with the social workers and how social workers recall birth mum at this time can vary greatly. Usually where mums think they have been inappropriate or negative, workers see them as having been determined that their children are safe and well cared for if not in their care— they want what is best for their child if they can’t remain with them.

We've had some of our ladies meet the adopters of their children as well, to have a conversation about their children and find out how they are.

Rona concluded:

Birth mums would say they have a family in This Is Us people who are non-judgemental, caring and supportive. The chance to meet both 1:1 with workers but also with their peers has been invaluable, and significantly improved their mental health and general wellbeing.

Due to the success of the This is Us group, the support offered and the positive impact on birth mums, in September 2025 the council expanded the service to create the Supporting Birth Families Service, for any birth fathers impacted by the loss.